Cleaning as a Trauma Response - a.k.a. “Is this normal?!”
If you’re frantically googling “cleaning as a trauma response” in efforts to understand yours - or your loved one’s - habits, you’ve come to the right place! Cleaning is something we all do (or, at least, try to). But for some people, cleaning isn’t just about tidying up their space – it’s about trying to clean up their emotions, too. When life feels chaotic, some folks turn to the mop and broom, scrubbing away their worries in an attempt to feel in control. Sound familiar?
There’s actually a deeper connection between trauma and compulsive cleaning than you might think. In fact, when things feel out of control emotionally, cleaning can become a way to regain a sense of order and safety. However, as comforting as it may seem in the moment, this can sometimes turn into a compulsive behavior that keeps us stuck. So, what’s the solution? Well, that’s where therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) come in. These approaches can help untangle the emotional mess behind the constant need to clean.
Understanding Trauma and the Brain
Before we dive into why some of us become cleaning machines after trauma, let’s take a quick tour of what happens in the brain during a traumatic event. When trauma hits, the brain’s first response is to flip into survival mode: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. It’s like your brain is trying to say, "Okay, how do I get out of this mess?" But when those emotions pile up and we don’t know how to process them, the brain tries to find other ways to cope.
Cue the vacuum cleaner. Cleaning becomes an easy way to restore some sense of order when everything feels like a tornado of emotions. It’s a coping mechanism, plain and simple. When your brain feels overwhelmed, scrubbing the floors gives you something you can control—at least on the outside. The only problem? You might end up with spotless countertops and unresolved feelings.
When Cleaning Becomes Compulsive
Now, let’s be clear—there’s cleaning, and then there’s compulsive cleaning. We all enjoy a clean space, but compulsive cleaning takes things to a whole new level. We’re talking about cleaning that feels like an urgent need, like if you don’t wipe down that countertop right now, something bad might happen.
People who struggle with compulsive cleaning often feel a strong wave of anxiety at the mere sight of a mess. They clean to make the anxiety go away, but here’s the catch—it’s temporary. Once the anxiety comes creeping back, the cycle starts all over again. It’s like playing a never-ending game of whack-a-mole: clean, feel better for a bit, get anxious again, clean more. Rinse and repeat (pun intended).
The Role of Cleaning in Trauma Processing
Cleaning can feel like a magic trick for emotional chaos. When everything feels overwhelming, polishing surfaces can make it seem like at least one part of life is in order. It’s a way to organize the outside when the inside feels, well, messy.
But here’s the thing: while cleaning gives a sense of control, it can also prevent you from dealing with the actual emotional baggage. It’s like sweeping dust under the rug—it looks clean, but it’s still there. Cleaning can be a form of avoidance, a distraction from dealing with the hard stuff. And that’s where things can get tricky. You’re self-soothing with cleaning, but it’s keeping you from diving into the deeper emotions that need attention.
Cleaning Compulsions and OCD: Overlap and Differences
“Wait, does this mean I have OCD if I clean compulsively?” Well, not necessarily. While there’s definitely some overlap between trauma-related cleaning and OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder), they’re not exactly the same.
In OCD, compulsive cleaning is driven by obsessive thoughts—like a fear of germs or contamination—that lead to rituals designed to prevent harm. Trauma-related cleaning, on the other hand, is more about trying to control the emotional chaos. Of course, the lines can blur, and trauma can even trigger OCD-like behaviors in some cases. This is where ERP therapy comes in handy—it’s a way to help break the cycle of compulsions, whether related to OCD or trauma.
What is EMDR Therapy?
Now, let’s talk about EMDR therapy, because it’s a real game-changer when it comes to trauma. EMDR (which, let’s be honest, sounds way more complicated than it is) helps you process traumatic memories in a way that makes them less emotionally intense. The therapist guides you through eye movements (or other forms of bilateral stimulation) while revisiting your trauma, and somehow—like magic, but really science—your brain starts to heal those wounds.
What does this have to do with compulsive cleaning? Well, EMDR helps take the emotional sting out of the trauma that’s driving those compulsive cleaning urges. Over time, you start to realize that cleaning isn’t just about tidying up—it’s about trying to tidy up your emotions. And when you process those emotions with EMDR, the need to clean compulsively can start to fade.
How ERP Therapy Can Help with Cleaning Compulsions
Okay, so what about ERP therapy? ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) is basically like facing your cleaning fears head-on. If you feel a burning need to clean because a few things are out of place, ERP will help you face that mess without grabbing the mop. Sounds scary, right? But over time, it teaches your brain that you can handle the discomfort without giving in to the urge to clean.
Through gradual exposure to mess, ERP helps you break the cycle of compulsive cleaning. You learn that (shocker!) life goes on—even if there are crumbs on the counter. It’s all about retraining your brain to tolerate anxiety without needing to scrub away at it.
Combining EMDR and ERP for Long-term Healing
The dynamic duo of EMDR and ERP is like the Batman and Robin of trauma recovery. Together, they tackle the root causes of compulsive cleaning and help you manage the behaviors. EMDR digs into the trauma, while ERP helps you learn healthier ways to cope without turning into a cleaning whirlwind every time you feel anxious.
People who’ve gone through this combo often find that their relationship with cleaning changes completely. Instead of relying on cleaning as a crutch, they can approach it more mindfully—maybe even enjoy it without feeling controlled by it. (Yes, it’s possible!)
Practical Tips for Managing Cleaning Compulsions
If you’re someone who’s tired of feeling like you have to clean, there are some practical steps you can start taking right now:
Try gradual exposure to a little mess, with support from a therapist. Maybe leave a dish or two in the sink overnight. Baby steps!
Practice mindfulness techniques to ground yourself when the anxiety creeps up. Scan your body for the sensations anxiety is planting… notice the other emotions swirling around your anxiety… notice your thoughts, like you’re observing a play or narrating a storybook… and get curious. Challenging yourself to pause and reflect intentionally helps your brain and body break the knee-jerk reaction to quick-fix and problem-solve a problem that might not really be a problem anyway!
Be kind to yourself. Building self-compassion and practicing relaxation techniques can help soothe the urge to clean without jumping into action.
Conclusion: Seeking Support for Lasting Change
At the end of the day, compulsive cleaning doesn’t have to rule your life. It’s tough, yes, but healing is absolutely possible. Working with a therapist trained in EMDR and ERP can make a world of difference. Remember: you’re not alone in this, and with the right support, you can break free from those compulsions and start living a life that feels more in control—without needing to reach for the mop every five minutes.
If you or someone you love is struggling with cleaning compulsions tied to trauma, don’t hesitate to reach out. Help is available - you do NOT have to go through this alone. You can start with the International OCD Foundation, or hollering by booking a consultation to explore how online Trauma & OCD therapy in Tennessee can help you find relief from your past’s pains, and present’s struggles!